oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. so annoying. everyone is so super fake larh. like all the ILL BE THERE FOR YOU shit. its all rubbish man. i wanna like give up everything. no ones really sensitive are they? well, they try but sometimes its just out of their way. ugh im really irritated. i just found out that my great grandma just passed away. i havent seen her for a long time. she was such a sweet lady. but i trust shes in Gods safe arms now. i really hope and pray she is.

man i really feel like crying now. im like seriously drifting from everyone. i have like NO close friends at ALL. seriously. im such a stupid loner man. i hate life. why is MY life like that. i dunno man. i dont feel like confiding in anyone. im just about to break down any moment now.

and today joan was telling me bout how this girl in my class bitched bout netties and cheerleaders. and i dunno. im really confused cos i kinda know her and i dont think shes that kinda person. i really wanna ask her bout it but i dotn wanna put it too bluntly.

sigh. its just a huge mixture of feelings. im feeling pressure, anger, frustrastion, irritation, depression, and i dont know. i just really wanna scream. but then it would break my mask. i really wish i could tell someone. but it would just show how weak i am. i wanna sleep and never wake up man. i really want to just.. take a break from life. but no ones giving me any.