One Last Breath - Creed

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me

For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe

this whole week has been crazy. absolutely crazy. everything has just been piling up emotionally.

monday - went for syf. i rededicated my life to God and i really just broke down. i mean, like really. i dunno how to describe it.

tuesday - had rehearsals. every rehearsal is just crazy. every rehearsal, we always face difficulty, we always get scolded for one thing or another without fail. like really. its just so irritating.

wednesday- sec 4 farewell. i was just really quite stressed out cos my group was in charge of lunch and emma didnt do anything and she practically just left everything to me and she didnt care about it at all. and she kept asking me where the food was when i should have been the one asking her. there were no games so we had to come up with impromptu games and everyone was just really bored and tired and all that and they kept wanting lunch and they just really put so much pressure on me. i really didnt know what to do.

i dont wanna do this anymore. this whole week has just be so emotional, so pressurising. all the test, the minor things, theyre all just adding up. everything that happened. nothing exceptionally good has happened. i dont wanna hold on to all this anymore. i really dont know what to do. i dont want to be fake by being someone im not, but if im being all sad and depressed, ill be called emo. what do people want me to do? what do they want of me? they dont even know the real me. the pained me. theres just no one. are they really my friends? but what they're doing isnt what friends are supposed to do. friends arent supposed to put you down, theyre supposed to help you up. but why does it seem like im being pushed down by everyone? do i really not matter to them at all?

it really just hurts. i try to be there for my friends, but they dont let me. they dont wanna tell me what they're going through. they dont wanna let me know. and then they say im not there for them. then what do they want me to do? and its not like they're there for me either. i dont wanna do back to what i was last year. i thought this year would be a much better, even great year. but apparently not. i dont deny it may have been slightly better than last year at some points, but im just drifting from everyone. no one would give a second thought about me. i dont matter to them. i dont matter to anyone. i dont wanna keep having that mask and appearing happy to everyone just so they wont ask whats wrong. i wanna be genuinely happy. i wanna be able to smile without having to worry about anything else. i dont wanna be hypocritical.

but i dont know if thats possible.

i need happy powder. siiiiiiigh. okay, i know i havent updated for like, centuries, but im not really in the mood. maybe tonight hm.