maaaaaaaan im like so tired of everything. sigh.

well well. today wasnt so bad lah. went to noelle's junnow with lipin, lesley and jie yi. hahahah we laughed so much lah. snowie! ahhah. anys. yeah it was super super fun. and we laughed and laughed and laughed so much lah. hhah. it was all very funny. and then in noelle's room we took pictures! hahahah i got one with lipin's hair down. hahah but i dunno how to load so OH WELL. haha. then now im supposed to burn the f4 mtv thing for snowie and pin. haha. then then we went back to school for oac which was super tiring. then lesley had leg cramp. =x

so scary. ouch. ahha then then after that when i was walking down i got a message from lesley that said "if i had 15 seconds to live, what would you say?"

hm then i sent the message to some of my contacts and they gave me shit. man im so pissed. pffffffft. everyones like damn fake lah. like i dunno. vicky and grace and nat. its so frustrating. and char. like ugh. so irritating lah. i mean like mel, she gave an even more meaningful answer and ive known for what. 3 weeks? its so irritating. and honestly, i dont think i can treat vicky as my bestie anymore. i thought i could. but now i really cant. sigh. there are like so little real friends lah. like. i dunno man. its so tiring.

man i really feel like posting this on my other publicised blog, but im worried.

then again why should i be? its my blog isnt it?

oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. so annoying. everyone is so super fake larh. like all the ILL BE THERE FOR YOU shit. its all rubbish man. i wanna like give up everything. no ones really sensitive are they? well, they try but sometimes its just out of their way. ugh im really irritated. i just found out that my great grandma just passed away. i havent seen her for a long time. she was such a sweet lady. but i trust shes in Gods safe arms now. i really hope and pray she is.

man i really feel like crying now. im like seriously drifting from everyone. i have like NO close friends at ALL. seriously. im such a stupid loner man. i hate life. why is MY life like that. i dunno man. i dont feel like confiding in anyone. im just about to break down any moment now.

and today joan was telling me bout how this girl in my class bitched bout netties and cheerleaders. and i dunno. im really confused cos i kinda know her and i dont think shes that kinda person. i really wanna ask her bout it but i dotn wanna put it too bluntly.

sigh. its just a huge mixture of feelings. im feeling pressure, anger, frustrastion, irritation, depression, and i dont know. i just really wanna scream. but then it would break my mask. i really wish i could tell someone. but it would just show how weak i am. i wanna sleep and never wake up man. i really want to just.. take a break from life. but no ones giving me any.