2 years
had dinner with stef and szelin today.
honestly speaking, they really have changed so so much. it's quite amazing. like, even the way we speak is different. and i know naturally i add in a lot of lahs and lors. but even without the singlish, the way they speak is really sooo super different. and when i hear myself speak to them, it sounds amazingly strange. their gestures, the way they approach something. just so different. and they're kinda. westernized? i know its rude saying it, but honestly, that word just kept coming into my head when i watched them. it's i dunno. sad? like i cant talk to stef the way i used to talk to her anymore. there's just this ridge. it's almost as if she can't understand my english or something.
and like now they talk bout drinking and clubbing and smoking. it's scary. i mean, yeah, sure, they grow up. and drinking and clubbing okayy. but smoking? wayy out! and szelin was saying "i dont wanna smoke" as if she already does, and now it's more of a "oh i've done it before. when i feel like it, then i just do it." like HUHH? its quite bewildering. i dont know how to express it. they've really become so different. and i find that i'm super self-conscious when im around them. like any wrong move and they'll be like laughing. its a bit.. uncomfortable? its wrong! its not supposed to be like that. like when you have dinner with friends. it's supposed to be laughy and stuff. but i felt like i was eating with like friend's friends or friend's family or something. its just. ahhhh. rather awkward.
im thankful to have gotten the chance to meet up with them and stuff. but now i dont know if i should have or not. i mean, yeah saying this is kinda late. but well, they really got me thinking lah. so i guess thats good. but like. 7/8 of the time i was kinda clueless as to what they were talking bout. O: the feeling's pretty different as compared to musical. but oh well, what would you expect. it's been two years.
posted by Kat @ 5:13 AM
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